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  We went from 'The football is a briefcase with nuclear codes' to 'The football is an iPad with an active X subscription and Grok telling us to deploy troops based on vibes.' Good luck to the White House archivists who now have to legally catalog the President asking an AI chatbot if he’s a 'good boy' under the Presidential Records Act. https://democrats-judiciary.house.gov/media-center/press-releases/ranking-members-raskin-garcia-demand-white-house-preserve-trump-s-ai-...

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  Health care got so expensive that I switched to the new UFO plan. Annual probes, no copay. Prior authorization comes from a skinny gray guy with big eyes. The vision rider covers anything you see that nobody believes. And every abduction earns frequent flyer miles.

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  I was advised to invest in myself. I did. On advice of counsel, what followed is described as "certain trading irregularities." Others describe it as insider trading and a pump-and-dump. I have been downgraded to junk. An NFT of me is still available; my cryptocurrency will issue shortly.

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  Found online: An octopus is flexible enough to enter your mouth, navigate your entire GI tract, and exit your anus. Don't tell RFK Jr., or he'll start recommending this instead of MMR vaccines. Of course it's unproven, but tentacles! (Pedantically, arms, but who's counting?)

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  There is a fine line between visionary and demented...and the line is hallucinatory and glows in the dark when you don't wear your foil hat.

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  When I was young, I wanted to be a star. Now I realize that requires nuclear fusion, radiation, and keeping my core at 15 million degrees for several billion years, so I decided to become an academic instead. I still enlighten, but with less gas.

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  The talk I gave at Purdue Indianapolis earlier this month: AI: Cybersecurity Panacea or Existential Threat? https://youtu.be/TD4zgId970k (This is particularly germane for students and recruiters.) The CERIAS Security Seminar occurs weekly, and we have over 25 years of recorded talks! https://ceri.as/secsem/

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  “If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go in business because we’d be cynical: ‘It’s gonna go wrong.’ Or ‘She’s going to hurt me.’ Or ‘I had a couple of bad love affairs so therefore …’ Well, that’s nonsense. You’re going to miss life. You’ve got to jump off the cliff all the time and build your wings on the way down.” -- Ray Bradbury (1920-2012)

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  With advancing years, I am perfecting my role as a peripheral visionary.

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  I expect that the next set of ads by Vivek Ramaswamy will be set to music --- "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" 😠

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  Let's get a new proverb started. See if you can drop this casually into conversation some time: Give a man a hammer and everything looks like a fish.

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  "Character.ai's Bankruptcy Documents Show the Economics of AI Don't Work" https://www.404media.co/character-ais-bankruptcy-documents-show-the-economics-of-ai-dont-work/ This is likely the first of many. The pets.com of the AI bubble?

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  There are many stories about 9/11. I have my students read this one in some of my advanced security courses: https://bit.ly/4ipccJE It is a lesson about preparedness and the value of drills. It is also a lesson about leadership, sacrifice, and love. If you can access the article (unfortunately, paywalled), it is worth a read today.

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  It's frightful that people who are so ignorant should have so much influence. -- George Orwell (1903–1950) It is a terrible thought, to contemplate that an immense number of mediocre thinkers are occupied with really influential matters. -- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900) Worthless persons appointed to have supreme control of weighty affairs do a lot of damage. -- Aristotle (384–322)

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  Thought for the day. Armor’s Axiom: Virtue is the failure to achieve vice.

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  I tried carbon dating, twice. Would not recommend. The charcoal briquette was a lousy kisser, had no conversation skills, and lied about its age by 5,730 years. The match with a lump of anthracite went worse — I was immediately given the coal shoulder.

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  @337guanacos ...and HailHydra!

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  Pro tip: they're not little, they're not green, and they're not men. Unless cheap tequila is involved, in which case they're all three, and it's not an abduction; it's Saturday night. That missing time is now accounted for.

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  Advisory: I may not be answering email today. It is only partially brillig. Thus, I will slithe a few of the toves, gyre with none of them, and gimble strictly within the wabe.

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  I am joining more than 100 voices calling on governments, funders, AI developers, and standards bodies to invest in the six conditions needed for a rigorous, reliable independent AI evaluation framework. Read the full letter at frontieraievaluation.org.

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  My thought for today, and part of my philosophy of life: If you can’t learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

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  I feel stupid. Another year of MacArthur Genius Grants announced, and I wasn't on the list....

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  October is the Awareness Month for both Cybersecurity and Breast Cancer. I proposed a two-factor authentication study to honor both. My IRB (my wife) withheld her support on three grounds: conflict of interest, inadequate containment, and the PI's character. Enable MFA. Schedule your mammogram. Do both. No IRB approval required.

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  Stop living in the past! You have a future to screw up.

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  Everyone is someone else's weirdo. -- Attributed to C. A. Dykstra (1883-1950) and S. R. Adams (1957-2026) Status of my quest: my extended family, done; my university, done; the Internet at large, well underway.

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  It is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! One of the classic jokes for the occasion: A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging from his belt buckle. The barkeep asks: Do you know you have a wheel over your crotch? The pirate says, "ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, and it's driving me nuts.

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  I wish more of our Republican senators were like Mitch McConnell.

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  Highly inspirational: "One day you will wake up, and there won't be any more time to do the things you've always wanted. Do it now." - Paulo Coelho Okay, maybe TOO inspirational. Who will Venmo some bail money?

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  Some people have praised my problem-solving skills. In fairness, most of those problems were ones I caused.