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  I've been getting into belly dancing which is what I call it when I do a little wiggle to try to get the hotdog to go down so I can make room for more hotdogs.

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  The power is out, so of course I’m draining my phone's battery by doomscrolling because I have zero self control or survival skills.

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  Someone needs to take away my Photoshop.

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  I saw a vintage photobooth that had a little window showing the inner mechanism for the flash and I wanted everyone to be able to see it because it's pretty neat!

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  True love is finding someone who hates the same things.

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  RE: https://beige.party/@Alice/117520177534129261 This conversation has made me think an idea for a website or app where people can post high quality uncropped photos and then the users are given a timed challenge (e.g., one day, one week, etc.) to crop them however they think is best and then they can upload their final version, but nothing will publish until that set time so the edited versions all go up together to ensure no one version influences another. I think it would be fun to compar...

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  I’m kind of obsessed with the heights of celebrities, so I'm constantly looking up their heights online, but I think my search engines are skewed because they always give me heights in cm/m so I have to specify "height in feet" which has resulted in my search engines thinking I’m obsessed with feet and holy shit some of these celebrities have some very strange yet sexy toes.

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  A new video store opened in Sacramento called Very Good Video so I went to their grand opening today and bought this gem for $5! (Alt text with an explanation of why this is special and close up in the comments)

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  Thinking about updating my Microsoft profile pic so I can roll up to Teams meetings looking like this.

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  Throwback to about 20 years ago when I thought it would be funny to make beer koozies with the baby on board logo on them, but I had to buy them in bulk so I ended up with like 20 of them so I brought them up to my current husband's family barbecue and then my husband's family thought it was a messed up pregnancy announcement.

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  This is my appreciation post for my new neighbor, Maria, who is an absolute delight and she just gave us a jar of her chili oil to taste test. She said she started making her own chili oil because the stuff from the store isn't spicy enough for her, so she's been trying to make her own so we just tried it on our Friday night pizza and it's seriously SO good! Like the perfect blend of spiciness and garlickiness and crunchiness. Anyway, all of this to say that everyone should have a...

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  One of the things that I resent most about AI is that it makes uncreative people think that THEY created something, so let's normalize reminding these people that they just used a dumb robot to steal someone else's creativity.

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  My husband keeps making fun of me for wearing these shoes but I swear they've got at least one walk left in them.

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  Is anyone else having trouble logging in to gram.social? @stux@mstdn.social

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  Mastodon makes me feel not as weird because the people here tend to relate to what I'm saying, but then I remember that it's just because we're all weird over here.

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  It's like they're intentionally trying to upset me.

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  This is your annual reminder to get your suspicious moles checked out so that you can end up with a scar that looks like a gaping butthole but at least you won’t be dead from cancer.

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  There are a lot of smart people on Mastodon, so I’m looking for someone with the knowledge to help me build a death pod but it's more like a badass bobsled that rides a water slide into a volcano but it can't be plastic because it would melt and it probably shouldn't be metal because it would likely get too hot before you were launched into the lava so please let me know what materials would work best because this is not something I want to mess up. Please boost for visibility.

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  I was at a taqueria yesterday and this big guy came in asking about happy hour specials and I'm really nosy so, in this time, I learned that he worked at a tattoo parlor which made sense since he was a tough tattoo parlor lookin' type and then he started talking about how this time of year is his favorite and I was thinking "Yeah, Halloween, that tracks" and then he proceeded to say "'cuz I’m a pumpkin spice freak." I don’t like pumpkin spice anything, but I love...

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  I’m watching Tiny House Nation and the lady was pretty much like "ew this house is too small" so then the realtor showed her another house that was over 600 feet and had a garage and that's the one that she bought and I'm so mad. Like, lady, that's not a tiny house. It's just a small house. Please get off my TV.

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  I know you're not supposed to engage with scammers, but it's a slow day.

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  This sconce looks like Clippy, right?

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  I appreciate when people in the service industry recognize my repeat business, but not on a Tuesday morning, Travis from the liquor store.

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  I got a coupon to make a free photo book from a company called FreePrints and I just received it in the mail today and the quality was actually really nice for a little 6x6" paperback photo book!

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  Just a little piggy back ride.

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  I don't want to be a bad influence, but I just can't help it.

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  I appreciate uncircumcised penises because I also like to have a little fort to hide in.

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  When you scan your Costco card at the entrance, a handful of Xanax should drop out.

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  I got kicked out for heckling, but it's not my fault because that eulogy wasn't even funny.

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  Did anyone else see the new footage of Mitch McConnell?