Spytfyre

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Sleeping

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Stonehaven outdoor pool in October apparently. We must go

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social I literally just filled two with diesel this very afternoon It's hidden well You won't find it

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Holy pube balls batman

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Just address it to The fireplace C/O me Return to senderville

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Vet? Like With the gloves? Surely they'd be too into that

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social @felis_catus_domesticus@toot.community The Spartans especially bad

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Skulls very hard to get an even edge Chalice very likely to wither you to death with that old guy in the cave Glass was mostly lead Tankard too, pewter Wood and leather germ city Horns just no, imagery my dear Wine flagon yes. It even has a stopper.

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social How about your girl takes YOU out for drinks? Thank you for your attention in this matter

@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social Back in the day the carriage clock was the traditional leaving gift Then for a while some idiot pop band wore kitchen clocks around their necks like medallions I'm not kidding Don't search this It will cringe you to death

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Pumpkin anything can GTF

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social 🎼 DON'T leave me this way I can't survive Can't stay alive Without your couch...

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social DON'T YOU DARE MAKE ME HEALTHY

@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social Have you ever tried a carriage clock on your wrist, or even pocket?

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Wait Orville the duck* went missing after the puppeteers death... I think you just found him The green plumage is a bit gone but he still can't fly *DON'T SEARCH - it will cringe you to death

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social They will be when the trade with Canada bypasses them By them I mean those that voted for it Not Scotland who voted solid remain

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Man can't take compliment from another man. News at 11!

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social This is why I shaved my head at university

@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social Sunblock Really good sunblock

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Speaking with their mouths shut Like good little puppets

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social So very wrong Whole pie Tub of slop on top Optionally opened

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social "Hey. Chat gpt. How do we "save humanity"? "I'm sorry Dave, I can't let you do that"

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social But after watching Bill Hicks, I believe they couldn't read the word Avengers

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social He was social He went round people's houses and checked on their taste in food and literature And probably toilet paper

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Now I'm imagining all the wrong numbers getting messages and the sometimes hilarious consequences

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Everyone with their own unique pattern shirt Like snowflakes Oh Wait 🫢 Or rubbing patterns Your left or their left?

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social That's the G of GTF But seriously pumpkins taste of nothing. Have to add so much sugar Bad alternative to sweet potato and even those are a poor contender for the word potato Orange mush. Better name

@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social What. The actual. Fuck. Did, My eyes. . My BEAUTIFUL EYES... Just See?

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social They were paid actors

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social "Learn to drive. Twat"

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social How did you know my working title already? 😡😮 Every week one of them would do or say something stupid and the other two would face palm or look up and say "jeeeesus" real slow like (Could guest star that Mario CEO shooter and others) It would be an after church Sunday smash with the religious folks lapping up the "road to redemption" (another working title alongside "ain't jail wonderful") the sponsors and adverts would all be privately run jail companies

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social NO SPOON

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social No Like banana Not a flavour that should be in anything other than a freshly unzipped banana And that's only if there's no other fruit to choose from Or you got cramp in both calves in the pool and had to pull of an impressive arms only but feet first on your back sculling type monstrosity to get back to the side, while screaming and eventually getting assistance from some nice helpful fellow swimmers I went into too much detail there but it's true

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social One farts worse than the other End Of Rossi Story

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Clown dentists are the worst

@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social Which Thunderbird does Michael pilot? And does it only get called in when someone is trapped in the sewers?

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Would be funnier if the two were in a compromising but passionate post coital cigarette moment Sorry Vape

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Everyone else is embarrassed for you lot Like Just Euuuuuuuurgh

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social "My dear. You speak such excellent French"

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social "My dear When I ejaculated I counted √π⁹⁵⁴ individual sperm When you ejaculate you can tell me YOUR number, goodnight" yeah no thanks

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Actually they'd make a great sitcom together In adjacent cells With canned laughter

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social I would ask what the fuck is going on with you lot but then I haven't had answers before so I'm not bothering anymore... 🤷‍♂️

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Heights (Fucking dentist pushed me)

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social No I mean in my version

@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social That's no ORDINARY candle!! That's a vagina candle!

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social "I was eating at a waffle house. I'm not proud of it. I was hungry. Waitress comes over and says: 'Hey! Whachoo reading for?'..." -Bill Hicks

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Or if they are At speed Not at station

@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social No Because Oh Jesus Christ Just you do you We will all cry on the sidelines