Open post Plague_Sheep @plague_sheep@minds.com · 4mo ago Replying to @BadFediPosts@tsundere.love What happened? You niggers all got aids, herpes and super hpv from those hoes and are now falling over one another for the chance to contract tinea pedis mouth! You're all some nasty degenerate toe licking niggers!
Open post Plague_Sheep @plague_sheep@minds.com · 3mo ago Replying to @Hoss@shitpost.cloud >be me >career politician >78 years old >have never held a job that required me to clock in, lift anything heavier than a donor check, or hear the phrase “we’re short-staffed today” >entire resume is “student council → law school → district aide → safe seat → committee chair → human barnacle on the hull of the state” >net worth somehow $37 million on a public servant salary >very mysterious >probably all those savings from brown-bagging lunch in 1974 >wake up at 9:30 in taxpayer-funded townhouse >staffer hands me talking points about how young people are lazy >nod gravely while wearing $4,000 suit paid for by “campaign funds” >say kids today don’t know the meaning of hard work >my hardest work this week was pretending to understand what “cloud computing” means during a hearing >go on cable news >host asks why young people can’t buy houses >instantly activate boomer policy NPC dialogue tree >“Well, back in my day, we worked hard, saved money, and didn’t waste it on luxuries.” >back in my day the median house cost two cigarettes and a handshake from a bank manager named Walt >college tuition was payable by mowing three lawns and returning glass bottles >healthcare bill was “doctor owed my dad a favor” >producer asks about stagnant wages >"That’s just market forces.” >producer asks about my third pension >“That’s earned service.” >producer asks about my insider stock trades >“That’s a vile conspiracy theory and also my wife did it.” >have lunch with lobbyists >they explain that workers asking for higher wages will destroy the economy >nod solemnly while eating a $92 steak called The Jeffersonian Reserve >decide America needs to rediscover sacrifice >vote to cut lunch breaks >name bill the “American Dignity and Opportunity Act” >visit a factory for photo op >put on hard hat backwards >ask machinist how long he’s been “doing the little metal thingies” >he says 22 years >tell him manufacturing is the backbone of America >then vote for a "free trade" bill written by six consultants and a guy whose LinkedIn says “Global Synergy Architect” >young reporter asks when I last worked a normal job >panic >say I worked summers >reporter asks doing what >say “campaign outreach” >reporter asks if that means my dad’s friend got me an internship >call him rude >tweet that journalism is dead >give speech at university >students ask why rent is impossible >tell them to get roommates >they say they have four >tell them to move somewhere cheaper >they say jobs are in expensive cities >tell them to learn a trade >they say trades also have housing costs >tell them to start a small business >they say healthcare is tied to employment and loans are expensive >realize they have followed the dialogue tree too far >accuse them of wanting communism >standing ovation from donors >end day exhausted >had to shake 11 hands, read 4 cue cards, and say “Main Street” 19 times >collapse into leather chair >dictate op-ed titled “The Lost Work Ethic of America’s Youth” >ghostwriter does actual writing >I add final line myself: “Success is about personal responsibility.” >staffer reminds me I inherited my first campaign fund from my father’s political machine >fire staffer for negativity >mfw kids today just don’t want to work >mfw I have been employed by vibes, incumbency, and name recognition since Nixon >mfw my entire career is one long group project where the taxpayer did all the work >mfw I am the sigma grindset >mfw the grind is fundraising breakfast, donor lunch, lobbyist dinner, then yelling at a 24-year-old barista for expecting health insurance >democracy.jpeg Absolutely a banger!