Today's worst thing: spending several hours travelling for a meeting (total, inclusive of both there and back)
Upside: getting the ice breaker activity a few days in advance so I can prep
Remote
Andy
@misaimed_brain@mas.to
mastodon 4.7.28 Followers
9 Following
22 Posts
Joined December 16, 2022
@miffyhelen@beige.party @pathfinder@beige.party @autistics@fedigroups.social
I think this has been one of my issues with the spoon approach. Maybe others experience it differently, but I generally don't know how many spoons I have. (I know I will need lots of spoons tomorrow, or at least sufficient spoons to pretend that I have plenty of spoons)
I had thought occasionally that I could have been accidentally deleted from the waiting list for diagnosis without ever really knowing. Today I had an email from the service provider!
I still don't have an appointment or any indication of when an appointment might happen, but they have assured me I wasn't forgotten!
@autistics@fedigroups.social
Replying to
@pathfinder @callunavulgaris @autistics
I think part of the issue is the presentation of autistic people in media within a pretty narrow range. There's also the issue of motivation to learn. Having grown up not seeing myself as autistic, I hadn't really the motivation to properly explore until a consultant said I may have autistic traits.
Replying to
@pathfinder @autistics
I'd also suggest the cognitive element is necessary, but not sufficient. Action is needed - actually changing the design of work, social systems, to accommodate the fullest range of people possible.
On a different note, I appreciate why people dislike the puzzle image (with the implication of a missing piece), but it sort of resonated for me in a different way - when a consultant said I might have autistic traits, it felt like a piece had slotted into place.
After a few days of prolonged contact with people, today is a WFH day with no scheduled meetings. BLISS.
I'm a few weeks away from the end of my contract. Unofficially, I'm getting extended. It still hasn't been confirmed by the organisational machinery. I'm getting more worked up and irritable.
It's like I have to contain two realities: one where I'm thinking long-term about work plans, one where I'm trying to find a job while unemployed. I half feel that if they said they'd let me go, at least that would be certainty.
Replying to
@knowprose@mastodon.social @olena@mementomori.social @autistics@fedigroups.social
Visiting in-laws, and my mother-in-law is a Talker (we think maybe AuDHD), and it's difficult to get away for some quiet. Over a visit I'm often screaming inside.
Replying to
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party @autistics@fedigroups.social
On the bright side, the worst if the current heat wave is now behind us. I'm looking forward to night temperatures that go below 20.
I was at a professional conference this week. It was really good, but also really hard. I wanted to have things to reflect on for my practice, but it somehow felt that I had too much to reflect on, and I couldn't process it all. I'm not sure I have ever had that before.
@autistics@fedigroups.social
Replying to
@pathfinder @autistics
Yes, I'd love to have an unrealistic level of independence. Partly that is because I have a tendency to feel constrained by others, and partly because any support offered can be taken away.
I am reconciling myself to getting nothing useful done at work today. I am basically trying to resolve 4-5 issues. Any one of them would be reasonably minor (in the sense that they can all be dealt with before there is an impact). The combination of them in my brain is leaving me with nothing left for useful thinking.
At least one of these I could have avoided with more thinking ahead. Pretty much all would be avoided if people kept each other updated.
Argh.
A while back I posted about the uncertainty I was facing about whether my contract would get extended. I now have greater certainty.
Despite intending to extend my contract, somehow my (former) employer somehow didn't make it happen. So, more clarity about my current circumstances. The ambiguity has shifted to when (if) they will sort it out, and how long it could take me to get a new job.
I'm comparatively lucky (we have savings), but boy it sucks.
Replying to
@Odaeus
To add to the barebones story, I met Terry Prattchett during a book signing session. We had an exchange that could have been in one of his books.
TP: you look familiar. Have we met before?
Me: no, but you met my sister.
TP: does she look like you?
Me: not really.
That was a long time ago, and I am paraphrasing to an extent, but it stuck with me!
Replying to
@zygmyd @autistics
Thank you for those kind words.
I think I have been able to provide empathy for a colleague, which is something. My goal really is that the colleagues receiving the service at end point never notice that there were fires in the first place.
Replying to
@Tim_McTuffty@beige.party @autistics@fedigroups.social
It sounds like it was a good day. I have to admit my eyes fastened on the lemon drizzle cake!
Replying to
@pathfinder @autistics
I think most people want security. But I am struggling with a disconnect between "I'm meant to know that this is a done deal" and "this has not been enacted formally by the organisation." I journal, so I can more or less trace how I'm becoming more bothered by the ongoing rumination.
Plus to be "professional" I am masking the extent it bothers me.
Replying to
@SilverArrows @autistics
I once started a formal grievance, at a past employer. I would say it pretty much started a countdown on my job as it didn't feel tenable to stay. I realise this doesn't relate to your actual question, but I thought I'd share in case it is useful in some way.