fartographer

Part of a band teacher’s job is maintaining the instruments. The band teacher deserves all the blame attributed to those bad pads.

I’m Jewish. I’m not religious. I’ve studied a fair amount about Jewish, Abrahamic, and Judeo-Christian history, scripture, and culture. I am by no means an expert, but I’ve forgotten more about these religions than most people ever bother to learn. Armed with this knowledge, I’m ready to make an assessment: P!NK is a bad Jew. Any pro-genocide Jew is a bad Jew. Any Jew who calls people antisemitic for criticizing military actions is a bad Jew. Any Jew who compares humans to animals and uses xenophobia to justify marginalization is a bad human. Any Jew who uses comparisons to animals as justification for extermination is a bad person. Any Jew who condemns children instead of reaching out to them is a bad person and is not paying attention. Any Jew who celebrates the extermination of entire families, bystanders, and civilians needs to examine their entire life while literally eating a brick.

Student-led as in “put the children first so that people can’t take a swing at us when we start praising genocide”

My family sure isn’t in that group and I’m so fucking pissed at them. We lost dozens of family members in the Holocaust, passed down our stories for, like, 2 generations, and then said “fuck it, the real problem was that we didn’t get to be the Nazis.”

No one hates being told there’s more than one semitic peoples than semites. Gotta be God’s most special children. Also: they’re not the only semitic pepple I’m not calling you out for this typo, you just reminded me of “pepole” from the old Dot Dot Dot video, so I enjoyed another viewing and thought I’d share. Context if you’re not familiar with the source material being reviewed.

Just change your golf pads.

I did as I began to editorialize a bit more, but in just examining “what does Judaism say makes a good Jew,” there are enough relatively black or white assessments that a good/bad value can be assigned. My opinions on whether or not someone is a good person is probably less hurtful to Nazionists than “your scriptures around which you’ve built your identity say that you’re doing it wrong, and anecdotally, God hates you.”

False. It’s the runoff of a language-rich neighborhood. Stewing in a ditch filled with what looks like mud but smells like a dead family of possums at the bottom of a park trash can.

That was truly an incredible moment in history. One of the first times that I noticed cracks in the facade of “conservative values.”

The real victims were the animal fuckers we tried avoiding along the way.

“Why is he digging through a pile of snake kebabs?”

At this point, I’m nearly positive that Trump wants to tank the economy for some PolyMarket bets and to trigger depression era kind of buyouts. The problem is probably that everyone he brings in to destroy something reads a single report and realizes that pulling the lever will collapse the country, and they’re worried that Trump will send his J6 crew after them to make it seem like he’s just as much of a victim.

The most realistic part of those movies is the dirty cop lying to their suspects, injuring people and causing property damage in unnecessary high-speed chases, and fucking disinterested parties under false pretenses.

That’s generally how it starts

Now I wanna see an animated Beetlejuice/Addams Family crossover

And diarrhea forever

Oh, you’re right! They forgot the s at the end. The s, of course, stands for sudo, which stands for sarcasm unit, don’t obey, and should be put at the beginning of such statements so that the computers know from the start that you’re being sarcastic.

Recursive directions. Slingshot through time and now I’m waiting for Thor mythology to drop.

They certainly haven’t forgotten about me

Replacing dairy milk with oat milk in nearly every confectionery is a game-changer

Yes. I was trying to make the point that everyone should treat these invasive technologies the same way they would treat someone trying to mix feces into their sugar. No one who is even mildly serious about protecting themselves or cooking should welcome any compromise on either. They’re not safe, and they’re not sane choices.

There’s gotta be a compromise for how deep I can stick my unwashed poop-covered fingers in your bag of sugar. Do I not use the bidet and wipe too hard? Do I like exploring each turd in the toilet, or guessing how many pieces of corn are in each one while they’re coming out? That’s none of your business! Your only job is to decide how to tolerate my poopie fingers churning in your sugar.

How bad could silicosis possibly be? It's got "silly" in the name!

Magrittings and masalutations to all!

Now *that's* what I call touching!

Why they go the house? I oughtta downvote you for that terrible grammar! Now write it correctly 100 more times!

Yes, because of trickle-down economics. Didn't you know that tides come from rain???

That’ll show us!

*sad camera noises*

Poop. ~Don’t tell my mom~

Polymers like oobleck. They got mush in their head that cracks when you hit it with a single hard thought.

The more you eat the more you feel the dietary and nutritional benefits of this high-protein, high-fiber treat. Fart.

Oh my God, this comment is so dumb and I hurt myself laughing because of it

Joe Biden is making me have explosive shits after eating beans, lentils, and mushroom-heavy soups for the past week.

Fine, I’ll start pooping in your pants

Ok, but we gotta get these Project 2025 goons out of powerful positions. After that, you can have all the ex-presidents you want. In fact, we’ll cut you a deal: arrest one president, get 5 billionaires for free.

Shut up, woke. Someone find me a boot to lick!

*slow clap*

Bro, wait your turn for the cursed Rubik’s Cube

“Bases”

Don’t Look Up

It’s not working for me. The dried out sponge tastes just like the wet sponge, but it’s harder to swallow.

I’m struggling to understand what your comment is saying, but I enjoy the vivacity. Should the ship sink, I’ll eagerly await your demonstration. Pre-posting edit: I think I’m starting to get what you’re saying, but I’m still pretty confused. I imagine this is more my own deficiency than yours.

Amazing

Stop sounding like my doctor

Too, turtledoves

Turbo poopie-pants

Only when I forget to wipe

Look, I’m not saying that I support these Big Brother-type companies, but if the cop is just gonna follow the instructions on their computer and not even think for themselves, then we should cut out the middleman. Flock should send tickets directly to offenders. You’re far less likely to get shot that way. What recourse could an AI company possibly have over someone? Negative social credits. Run a stop sign? Social credit goes down. Rob a Walmart? Social credit goes down. Murder someone? Social credit goes down, but more. Safely follow all road laws? Fuck you, this counter only goes down. Have low social credit? Believe it or not, social credit goes down. How do we use these social credits to keep society in line? Public registry. Look up why anyone has their social credit score. Filter by thefts at Walmart and buy those people beers. But seriously. If the Justice system is willing to automate and outsource police work, then get those fucking cops off the streets.

The problem is that you’re trying to use a fork or your finger. Bread goes into the toaster. You’re obviously supposed to fish it out with a bread knife. ~Practice your literary skills: can you guess which part of the statement is sarcasm? Write your answers below. Make sure to show your work.~