The Segway is here to stay, you know! Once someone invents something, the cat's out of the bag! Oh you don't use a Segway? Watch out, or this amazing new technology will leave you (slightly) behind! You'd better invest now you know! This technology is poised to revolutionize personal transportation! If you don't get in early, you'll never catch up and make the big bucks (unless you can manage a brisk jog or have a car or something). I don't know what they're teaching in PE these days, but they definitely need to start teaching how to ride a Segway! It's completely intuitive, you see! Should athletes be allowed to ride Segways around the track instead of running laps? Of course! After all, sports are already starting to shift to Segway leagues. These things *are* the future! They're totally safe,* even around cliffs!
*Remember to always wear your helmet when riding, and be prepared to land on your feet like a cat if user error results in an unexpected temporary levitation event. Segway, inc. is not liable for damages caused by failure to deploy superhuman reflexes at a moment's notice.
This post contains some hyperbole, but not a much as you might think. For the curious:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Segway#History
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