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Well, human resources is looking into it and hopefully it will get resolved soon. I'm a healthy person so I can wait. No one else seems to have experienced this, which is what I was wondering . It is a weird catch-22
Update: according to the IRS, while marriage certificates are usually enough, you can be required to show a joint tax filing, which finally got approval. So things that weren't accepted: marriage certificate, ss#, co-ownership of house, bank statement