Conversation (36)
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Calined
@Calined@mastodon.social · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online I'd say there is also different times that people are more open than others. Maybe they had a long day and they don't want to challenge their world view this evening. Maybe they don't feel so open and they rather talk about safe topics first like the weather or dinner to test out how it is to talk to a person. But I'd also assume it correlates with how solid and safe the person feels about the thoughts not being their identity and that they can shift and discuss.
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dbat 
@dbat@mastodon.gamedev.place · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online where does this come from?
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Michał "rysiek" Woźniak · 🇺🇦
@rysiek@mstdn.social · Aug 14
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@dbat@mastodon.gamedev.place @mjt@mastodon.online +1 I would also love to know
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mjt
@mjt@mastodon.online · Aug 14
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@dbat@mastodon.gamedev.place It’s been a meme posted on Instagram and elsewhere in the past week. I’ve been looking for the source, as it appears to be an excerpt from an essay or book, and searches reveal nothing but tons and tons of riffs on the idea, or people who’ve quoted the text as it if were theirs. But boy, lots and lots of interesting essays result from following the hits. I’ll post the source as soon as (or if) I find it, because I try to give credit to authors so I don’t steal valor from the deserving.
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Remy Whisker 
@remywhisker@mastodon.social · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online I was once in a conversation were someone was praising Aldi for buying from local farmers. I pointed out that it can lead to reduced selling power of farmers. They replied as if I was challenging their view point of Aldi is a good company. I wasn't, just pointing to unintentional harm their view point could cause. I'm so tired of being misunderstood because of this stupid absolutism of you must 100% agree with me else you are against my view point. I deleted my Lemmy account over this shit.
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fabiosantoscode
@fabiosantoscode@mastodon.social · Aug 14
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@remywhisker@mastodon.social @mjt@mastodon.online I've been practicing on how to introduce nuance like this without scaring people away. Sometimes they can feel guilty or implicated even.
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fabiosantoscode
@fabiosantoscode@mastodon.social · Aug 14
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@remywhisker@mastodon.social @mjt@mastodon.online lol, my message could be read as implying that you're bad at communicating and this is your fault. What a neat accidental example
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Remy Whisker
@remywhisker@mastodon.social · Aug 14
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@fabiosantoscode@mastodon.social @mjt@mastodon.online I didn't even take it as such. My social skills are, in fact, lacking. I think people default to assuming hostile intent and this is how we end up in this situation. Also my hyper rational brain doesn't make things easier. I can't control other people, so saying "improve your social skills," is sound logical advice but not a lot of people will see it as such.
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fabiosantoscode
@fabiosantoscode@mastodon.social · Aug 14
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@remywhisker@mastodon.social @mjt@mastodon.online hostile intent is really easy to assume sometimes. Conversations with more people interrupting each other, all trying to find a simple conclusion to a complex problem. Toxic spaces like twitter dot com.
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fabiosantoscode
@fabiosantoscode@mastodon.social · Aug 14
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@remywhisker@mastodon.social @mjt@mastodon.online I think a big part of propaganda is to create tiny meme-bombs. Sequences of 3 to 5 words with so many things wrong that you'll seem like a fool trying to unpack it
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fabiosantoscode
@fabiosantoscode@mastodon.social · Aug 14
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@remywhisker@mastodon.social @mjt@mastodon.online so someone comes to you, doesn't know all the context and drops an inflammatory statement that sounds good in a vacuum, and then you radicalise them by breaking it down.
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Krzysztof Sakrejda 🏳️⚧️ 🏴☠
@wronglang@bayes.club · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online the rest of the text is interesting and resonates with me but the idea that small talk alienates you is such a cliche. Interesting people have a range of conversations, some of those *are* "small talk" and there's no need to get all "Galaxy brain" over that...
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Dziadek Mick 🇸🇩 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ 🇺🇦
@DziadekMick@mstdn.social · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online
This speaks my mind.
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meadowhawk
@meadowhawk@indieweb.social · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online it sometimes feels like almost no one wants to understand things they encounter every day even if it directs their own live decisions and world views, it's so strange!
Love the quote!
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mjt
@mjt@mastodon.online · Aug 14
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@meadowhawk@indieweb.social Apprehension of reality hits hard. It’s easier to see everything and everyone as banal or pointless. There might even be a word for that ;-)
What can one do to improve our society and public conversation, I wonder?
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meadowhawk
@meadowhawk@indieweb.social · Aug 15
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@mjt@mastodon.online alas, if only I had an answer!
I'll stick by encouraging curiosity and making an effort to communicate, it's a start though surely just a start.
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kolya
@kolya@social.cologne · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online I get it. But it's fine line between this and self-affirming complacency.
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mjt
@mjt@mastodon.online · Aug 14
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@kolya@social.cologne Indeed. I used to get upset that people at my workplace sometimes criticized me for using what they called “big words” and talking “over their heads.” While I never meant to do this, I took their comments to heart. Impact over intent.
I feel alive and energized when I’m in a discussion with people who are smarter than me, or who have different experiences and learning than I do. I’ve learned that those two qualifiers embrace almost everyone, if I listen well enough.
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⁂ Fish Id Wardrobe
@fishidwardrobe@mastodon.me.uk · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online oh boy, yes. familiar to #ActuallyAutistic folks.
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Maike Küper
@MaiKueper@mastodon.social · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online I‘m in this picture and sometimes, I don’t like it..
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"Mediocre Bunny" Evelyn
@Gorfram@beige.party · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online
"But you're forgetting that the crime and political chaos driving emigration from places like El Salvador is the direct result of US having destabilized those political and econ-
...oh, never mind. How about those ?"
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"Mediocre Bunny" Evelyn
@Gorfram@beige.party · Aug 14
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@mjt@mastodon.online
"Of course I want to save the salmon. But I also like having the lights on. You would think that, with the kind of technological know-how we've got, someone could find a way to get hydroelectric power out of a river while getting fish safely-
...oh, never mind. How's your trout?"
*this one's not hypothetical. Ask me just how quickly you, too, could make enemies in both PNW political camps with this sort of thinking.
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Christian Lauf
@kharkerlake@karlsruhe-social.de · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online Offf, how I feel that.
What is the source?
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mjt
@mjt@mastodon.online · Aug 14
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@kharkerlake@karlsruhe-social.de I am still searching for the source, since I imagine if they can write that, their other writings must be engaging at the least.
It’s really resonated with a *lot* of folks. I’ve never had so many people react, favorite, and comment on anything I’ve posted. I really wish I’d added in the post that these are not my words, only that I’ve resonated with them.
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Friedrich Delgado ✔️🎀
@TauPan@mastodon.social · Aug 15
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@mjt@mastodon.online Hi! If/when you do find the source I'd appreciate if you could edit the original post to include the pointer, if possible. Meanwhile I see lots of good responses in this thread 😸👍
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haui ☭🇵🇸
@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online this might be one of the best texts I've read in years.
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mjt
@mjt@mastodon.online · Aug 14
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@haui@mastodon.giftedmc.com I agree! That’s why I felt compelled to share it, even without being able to identify who wrote it (yet!)
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cognitively accessible math
@geonz@mathstodon.xyz · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online
Yearning for delighting in exploring uncertainties and challenging things... tho' you can explore ways for small talk to be fun, too.
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Anne
@annewalk@tootsweet.social · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online I get this. Do you know who this quote is from?
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Dave Volek
@davevolek@mastodon.social · Aug 14
@mjt@mastodon.online
This one struck a nerve. I'm an inventor of an alternative democracy. Despite the political turmoil all around us, no one wants to discuss this idea.
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mjt
@mjt@mastodon.online · Aug 14
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@davevolek@mastodon.social I’d be interested in hearing more. Write something and post about it, please!
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Dave Volek
@davevolek@mastodon.social · Aug 15
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@mjt@mastodon.online
Here's a link from my post about spending 10 hours a month to build a wiser, kinder democracy:
https://tiereddemocraticgovernance.org/blog_details.php?blog_cat_id=30&id=11
BTW, I post a TDG link every three hours or so.
