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  Them: Can you do this? Me: Yes, but not for at least a few months. Them: OK. Them (2 weeks later): Any update on when you're gonna do this? Me: In at least a few months. Them: Really want to align on getting this done in the next few weeks. Me: Well that is a shame because it will take at least a few months. [Boundaries: I am having them!]

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  Two months ago I made plans that I knew for a fact would get cancelled. So today I get to reap the joy of cancelled plans 😍

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  Dot social has now hidden the 'add content note' option behind a tiny settings button on the web interface, where before it was prominent and included by default on every post. I think this is a giant mistake and am very very annoyed.

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  Ten years ago: let’s take ecstasy then go nuts at this gig! Today: let’s take ecstasy then go watch the pretty light show in Westminster Cathedral! https://luminiscence.com/london/ (Can confirm this was a very lovely time. We then went to visit Outernet where even more pretty lights awaited 😍)

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  "My eyes are firmly shut as my back arches, my pelvis thrusts in the air, and I finger fuck myself to the first orgasm my pussy has ever experienced." Stunning guest blog by @scarlet_rose from this time last year. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/space-first-orgasm-neo-vagina/

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  By far the weirdest comments I get are on old articles about cuckolding. Quite a lot of men search for that term so they can hate on women who talk about enjoying it. Weird behaviour! https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/cuckolding-cuckqueaning/#comment-1130885

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  RE: https://mastodon.social/@girlonthenet/117444824489641667 This lovely guest blog now has lovely comments! Thanks to those who have joined in, I really hope this guest inspires other people to write porn for an audience of one =)

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  @stuart quick question: did you read the blog post before asking this? Because I think it's pretty clear from context if you read the post rather than just the title. You don't need to be scared to ask, you can just click the link, and if you're still unsure give it a google. Otherwise saying stuff like this just lands like 'random drive by rudeness to a stranger'.

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  “I’m going to bolt the door. That okay with you?” Teaching through subtext: everything, no matter how small, requires consent. NEW #AudioPorn by the brilliant @jamiebear, read beautifully by Luke 😍 https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/guiding-new-dominant/

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  @stuart I appreciate that, thank you. It’s not the end of the world but it does wear me down a bit when I keep getting replies like this, so I’m grateful to you for listening

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  The first line of a blog post is not as important as you think. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/first-line-the-final-line/

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  "I'm not in this to be pen pals", and 3 other reasons I will swipe left on your #dating profile. You can’t connect with someone by bypassing the means of connection. NEW blog. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/4-reasons-swipe-left/

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  RE: https://mastodon.social/@fesshole/117387107079817083 People who are staying at their lover's homes that evening. People who've been shopping on their lunch break and turned them on to test. People whose devices don't have travel locks, so sometimes turn on by accident. People whose bluetooth devices are none of your fucking business.

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  Don’t private message me out of the blue to talk about your boner. I don’t know you, it’s creepy. It’s not just an annoyance, it makes me feel like absolute shit and can properly ruin my day. To be so disrespected, to have my time and peace valued so cheaply... makes me feel worthless tbh. It might feel low-stakes & cheeky to you - ‘where’s the harm in trying, eh?’ - but it is actually pretty harmful to me.

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  Sometimes the gift of a blog idea just falls into your lap. And this time in '25, a guy asked me 'what's so hot about men in #fishnets?' so I immediately ran to my laptop to write this... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/men-in-fishnets/

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  Today in 'blog posts I wrote because I'm going through some shit': why riding my bike helps me inhabit a feeling that nothing else in life has ever given me. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/called-a-lot-but-never-this/ Gorgeous art by @stuart_cb@mastodon.social that I really want a print of for my flat. #cycling #BodyImage #bike

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  I was talking to a friend about this poem recently, so I thought I would share it with you. It's by Molly Naylor, from this gorgeous collection. https://badbettypress.com/product/whatever-youve-got-molly-naylor/ She read it aloud at a thing I went to a while ago, in the middle of a time in my life when I was feeling so worthless and terrible. I just needed to know that I was OK, and this healed me. I had a sobbing breakdown in the front row.

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  The thing you all need to know is that if I keep being a Very Good Girl and making men happy in whatever ways they want me to, eventually they'll be nice to me. That's just science.

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  This time last year, I wrote about the significant harms of the #OnlineSafetyAct. Depressing that things have got far worse since then. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/age-verification-whats-the-harm/

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  "Will you share your new toys with me? ... I’m really nervous, but I get the impression you’ll be able to help?” This time in '24, @thebarefootsub@mastodon.social brought us this gorgeous #erotica about sharing sex toys with a curious neighbour... https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/testing-sex-toys-with-her/

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  Stop commenting on porn to tell me it isn't to your tastes!! NOT ALL PORN IS FOR YOU OMG. I covered this in 2015 why hasn't everyone learned it by now. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/not-all-porn-is-for-you/

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  People who can fuck off: the ones who insist we get pizza then want a pizza that’s covered in meat. If you wanted meat, you should have suggested burgers. Pizza is a cheese-based food. The cheese should be the dominant force.

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  If it weren’t rude and intrusive to do so, what questions would you like to ask of people before you decide to date them? I think I’d like to know how often someone wanks, so I can gauge whether they’re reasonably horny or if we’re both wasting our time.

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  #ICYMI, yesterday's fabulous guest blog by Synonymph exhorting cis men to avoid this one particular 'foreplay' move. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/stop-putting-my-hand-on-your-boner/

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  With enough mental fortitude and an early enough bedtime... I might be able to turn this into a five-wank day.

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  This time in '24, a promise you could never ever ever hope to fulfil. https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/come-harder-than-i-ever-have/

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  While I'm here, can I ask you a favour? If you're followed by anyone who writes smut, please could you share this post? Commissions (PAID, OF COURSE) for the next round of 'turning smut you've already written into lovely, wankable, accessible audio'. Would love to hear from some new writers! https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/call-for-submissions-want-to-turn-your-smut-into-audio-porn/

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  The one trick that consistently works to get me off the sofa and into bed when it’s late is ‘remembering that wanking exists’.

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  Right-wing people always think that 'offensive' is what we care about. As if 'offensive' is some magic word to get us to stop doing whatever it is that's pissing them off.

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  So proud of the #AudioPorn project rn - gorgeous, hot work from @Jaimieserotica@kinkycats.org, @nymphostimtoy@kinkycats.org, Spen Pritchard, @GoingDownWithSundial@mastodon.social + readings by Tabitha Rayne and @mollysdailykiss@kinkycats.org Check it out free here: https://www.girlonthenet.com/audio 😍 Get bonuses & early access to new stuff while supporting the project at https://www.patreon.com/girlonthenet