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  Today is my husband's birthday. I was on the phone with the bank this morning, looking out the window while being on hold, trying not to cry. It's been 13 days. It hasn't gotten easier.

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  Took a short road trip with a friend -- nothing planned, totally impromptu. Fall colors in Bridgeport, CA. #Roadtrip

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  One of the hardest things about life after losing my husband has been deciding what to do today. Often I find myself just standing in the middle of the room feeling blank. A big chunk of my time caring for him, making sure he's comfortable, has been removed from my daily routine, and I'm having to deal with the emptiness of my days. A To-do list can only go so far. #grief #CareGiver

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  Here, take some flowers because tomorrow is Monday. A field of rabbitbrushes right on the shore of Mono Lake, CA. Today I decided to finish my WIP sewing project I started in August. Then I spent an hour cleaning out the closet. Much more to go, but it's a start. I wish I went out for a walk or a drive, but getting out alone felt like too much for today. Strange because I was used to do everything alone. #BloomScrolling #SundayFlowers #Grief #TakeCare

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  Today I cleaned out our kitchen junk drawer, first time we moved here seven years ago. One million twist ties, seventy rubber bands. Now I can find a pen and a sticky note. #TakeCare

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  I had been avoiding to go into my art studio so I didn't have to face my "inner voice." Today my artist friend invited me to her studio to paint together. Turns out that she also lost her husband in January, and we talked, while painting. This is something I wasn't able to do, even with my closest friend. Better than a therapy. This is one of four tiny gouaches I painted today; all from a memory. #smallworks #grief #TakeCare #MastoArt

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  Here, take some flowers because tomorrow is Monday. Rabbitbrush is in nearly full bloom, and the fields are golden. #BloomScrolling #SundayFlowers #WildFlower

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  "Summer Sunday" pastel on Wallis paper - 6x6 in https://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/tamami-tokutake/summer-sunday/1228591 Sunday late afternoon at the farm. Another summer almost gone... #MastoArt #PastelArtist #smallworks #BloomScrolling #HumanMade

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  Faint, but huge arc of #rainbow #sky #cloudporn

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  Despite this being a quick sketch, it may actually get entered to a miniature contest in October -- it's been very popular so far! "The Star of the Farm" pastel on homemade surface - 5x4.5 in https://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/tamami-tokutake/the-star-of-the-farm/1225581 Painted at Reno Food Systems Farm. He is definitely the star of the farm, or at least he thinks so. It was a much-needed relaxing day. #MastoArt #PastelArtist #FarmAnimals #HumanMade

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  Here, take some flowers because tomorrow is Monday. Every Sunday of July, I was at the farm, painting with my farm buddies. I never thought I'd enjoy it so much. At the end of the day as I leave, I take a photo of this flower patch by the gate. #BloomScrolling #UrbanFarm #SundayFlowers

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  This is the only yoga channel I watch. The reason I picked this? The cute dog Benji. @yogawithadriene@www.youtube.com

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  Another "End of the World"-looking sky; it was taken yesterday at 8:25 pm. Last night was yet another battle with the medical drama. I had to drive to a very sketchy part of town past midnight to a 24-hour pharmacy. I was mentally spent, and wished I could stop on the side of the road just to breathe. #cloudporn #caregiver 1/2

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  This was such an interesting article for me. Apparently I fall in the spectrum of hyperphantasia, but I thought everyone was like that... I have this vivid memories from childhood where I still don't know if they were real experiences or made-up stuff. I once attended an art workshop where people paint landscapes entirely from memories. There were one person who was completely lost. She was aphantasia. https://www.upworthy.com/people-with-rare-hyperphantasia-condition-share-what-having-an-...

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  There has been so many medical dramas at home -- well, it's been like that for the last 2.5 years, but lately I can't even remember what we went through 5 days ago. I'm tired, but I'm not the one who's dealing with endless pain and tiredness. Now it's looking like I will have to cancel two plans on this weekend that I said I'd make. All I can do is to be here, but I'm feeling quite helpless. #FuckCancer #Caregiver

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  "Near Sunset " pastel on Canson Touch paper (burgundy) - 14x14 in https://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/tamami-tokutake/near-sunset-/1224583 I don't hike in the evening often. So when I do, the beauty of the light fascinates me. #MastoArt #PastelArtist #landscapepainting #HumanMade #renonevada

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  Today I rescued a tiny stick bug that was about to drown in a bucket of water. According to some old Japanese folk tales, this is about the time a gift of an exquisite jewelry or something magically appearing by my bedside. I'll report back. #insect #BeKind

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  A small, quick one again today: "20 Minutes to Sunset" pastel on Wallis paper - 7x5 in https://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/tamami-tokutake/20-minutes-to-sunset/1223587 Summer evening walk on Steamboat Ditch Trail. This is done on a sanded pastel paper called Wallis, which has gone out of business before I started painting. Their paper still holds a legendary status. I have several artist friends who gave me their leftover Wallis paper, and sometimes I splurge... I'm such a ch...

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  Evening walk is nice. 20 minutes to sunset. #trail

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  OK dude. I'm pickling you.

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  Took husband out for a drive. Found several good spots for my next plein air outing. Beautiful, peaceful, quiet.

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  "Gathering the Sunshine" pastel on Wallis paper - 7x5 in https://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/tamami-tokutake/gathering-the-sunshine/1222680 A quick, small work from my plein air day at River Fork Ranch in Genoa, NV. Getting ready for the "miniature" show in October... #MastoArt #PastelArtist #kayak #smallworks #HumanMade

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  This is happening again in my greenhouse. There are three more buds growing quickly. #gardening #exoticplant #groweverything

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  This may be one of the oldest paintings I've ever posted here. Done in September 2020! I kept wondering if it's worth framing... so I just did. It may even be going to a show next month... "Fragile" Uart 600 - 12x9 in https://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/tamami-tokutake/fragile/789250 Hills near Gnoss Field, Novato CA. #MastoArt #PastelArtist #landscapepainting #humanmade

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  Just did a little touch-up in studio and finished it. "Arrival of Summer" pastel on Canson Touch paper (burgundy) - 7x14 in https://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/tamami-tokutake/arrival-of-summer/1221546 Plein air at Sierra Valley Preserve and Nature Center, Portola, California. No wind, quiet and peaceful. Summer is here. #landscapepainting #MastoArt #PastelArtist #pleinair

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  Here, take some flowers because tomorrow is Monday. Beautiful hanging flowers I spotted today in front of the Judicial Building, Downtown Reno, Nevada. #BloomScrolling #SundayFlowers

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  "A Meadow with No Name" pastel on Richeson sanded paper (green) - 8x10 in https://www.dailypaintworks.com/fineart/tamami-tokutake/a-meadow-with-no-name/1221270 Aiming to recover from this long slump, trying simplified painting. A photo taken by @impermanen_@zirk.us on Mastodon is used as a reference, with permission (thank you). I'm afraid I didn't do well in representing the beautiful meadow and photo. I'm going to have to try it again. #MastoArt #pastelartist #Landscap...

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  Here, take some flowers because tomorrow is Monday. This is my four-year-old betony plant in full bloom. With a little ladybug friend. #BloomScrolling #Wildflowers #sundayflower

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  Here, take some flowers because tomorrow is Monday. My hollyhocks in the backyard; this plant is about 5 year old. I should plant more of them. Once established, they are care-free and tough. But growing them from seeds is not easy... #BloomScrolling #SundayFlowers #gardening

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  Sky right now #renonevada #cloudporn