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  Day 11 of my mom's 14-day visit. Although I would not call her stupid, Lrrr would. I love my mom, but this has been a stark reminder of how hard life is when you don't plan, don't listen, don't think, and don't learn. It's been so exhausting. The key driver behind this spike in unpleasantness was the decision to bake a cake with my kids. It's a fucking cake. It's a forgiving medium. It was made in part by children, and in part by a perfectionist who is too scatt...

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  Just got my COVID and flu shots, and I'm just waiting to feel like I got hit by an asteroid.

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  I don't like calling people Nazis anymore, but for two good reasons: (1) many of them like being called Nazis, even if they don't admit it, and (2) the Nazis learned it from us in the United States. Our hatemongers aren't nearly as efficient or well-dressed. I prefer "chud" or "fuckface."

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  One of my favorite things about The Onion buying InfoWars at auction and doing the exact same schtick but with a wink is that it happened at the exact right moment in American history. The right-wing populist ouroboros of the last 25 years gobbled up every conceivable lever of power through deception, coercion, procedural fuckery, and overt violence, and then they ran the country like a drunken child who stole a tank. Now, these smug shitasses are looking at the world they have created, and th...

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  I'm really worried about my mom. She's visiting, and this morning she came with me and my son for his morning drop-off at school. His school asks that each child work with their grown up on a simple set of tasks in the morning (like filling out a worksheet and reading a paragraph off the whiteboard). They have split-grade classrooms: his class calls first graders "youngers" and second graders "elders." Well, this morning, my son had to arrange some numbered tiles an...

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  If I ever get cancer, please don't call my treatment a "battle." I don't want to die fighting. It's a negotiation.

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  I've been thinking about Homer's Iliad and Odyssey lately. Not the stories themselves so much as their context. This vast oral tradition that stretched across the Bronze Age Collapse into a benighted world, surrounded by architecture that no one knew how to build, a lost world everywhere intruding into the present but unreachable. It feels like that with AI, as the adopters start developing dementia and coring out their brains. People who cannot fathom doing their own thinking because...

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  Did the obligatory but enjoyable dad thing and took my kids to the state fair. Fun was had by all, but also the slopapocalypse in advertising has come. Everything looks vaguely crocheted or like it was drawn by a particularly dumb alien, all the people look like that obnoxious Facebook avatar fad reimagined by a demon, and it's all in the vague kidney-failure piss tone that all AI images have. It's deeply unappetizing.

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  If I were a D&D character, I feel like I'd have very high intelligence and a severe negative wisdom modifier.

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  I learned today that I have a moderately leaky bicuspid aorta, and I'm gonna need to have it replaced probably in the next 2-12 years. Maybe sooner if I decide to become a power lifter (HA!), maybe longer if I become ultra fit, but not that long from now. I don't have symptoms, which is good. He mentioned some things that I forget the details of, but they were good things. He says the risk of death in surgery is about one in a thousand, but that that number captures *every* kind of ao...

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  I would be guzzling five cups of coffee a day even if it was bad for me.

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  If someone ever told me "lower your tone when you talk to me," I would have to laugh at them until they killed me.

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  I bought dress shoes today, and I unwittingly tried on a pair of Florsheims. Psychotically uncomfortable. The only reason to wear such shoes is as part of a punishment ritual to display loyalty.

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  I called my kids silly geese and my 3yo daughter screamed "WE ARE NOT GEESE!!!"

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  Stripping away millennia of context and coercion until I am just an atom in a single-family home drinking egg nog next to a noble fir and dumbing out to O Holy Night.

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  Am I dumb or was Graham Platner just Joe Exotic with only slightly better hair and qualitatively different baggage?

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  Another entry from my sister's catalog. She bought the original at a garage sale and added the worms and googly eye herself, but that's where all the magic came from.

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  Found one of my sister's originals from back when making pictures with computers required work and imagination: EDIT: she tells me it is titled "Carpless Whisper."

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  Good, I'm glad the USMNT got the horse whipping it so richly deserved. I hope it shuts up the people who had the audacity to suggest we could win.

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  Imagine Belgium, the most monstrous of all the colonial powers, being the good guy.

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  Well, that's on schedule. My mom is screaming and crying and slamming doors because she accidentally whapped my son on the butt while playing "Up high, down low" and my son said "that's a private part!" and we agreed with him that it is. Rather than this becoming a perfectly normal conversation between kids and adults about how it's true that we shouldn't touch other people on the butt, but that this was an accident during a gam...

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  Kubrick stare at the last brownie in my parents' fridge.

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  I have never liked Graham Platner because I think Nazi tattoos are disqualifying and being a shithead to women is disqualifying. I didn't need SA allegations to think he was a fuckwad. But I also wasn't champing at the bit against him because I'm not a Mainer and I generally liked his headlining policy priorities more than I liked Janet Mills'. It's not a psyop, it's not him getting spiked, he's just a shitty guy who sucks, and it'...

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  The U.S. is finally a soccer country (because of the brazen corruption, not because we're good at it or even like it).

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  I've been pretty quiet lately because I've been telling people America was actually founded in 1789 and they Do. Not. Want. To. Hear. It.

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  Every time someone gets paid for being wrongfully fired for criticizing Charlie Kirk, he gets dunked in the lake of flaming bees.

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  It is never too late to say, "I was wrong, I'm sorry, and all I can do is mend my ways and beg for forgiveness." And even then, sometimes that ain't enough:

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  I convinced my kids that they throw you out of the airplane if you smoke cigarettes. They spent a good chunk of the flight looking to see if anyone would light up.

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  Did we ever learn who let the dogs out or...?

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  Got to introduce my 6yo son to The Brave Little Toaster while he was recovering from anesthesia and dental work. It rips.