← Feed
@HG@beige.party
2026-09-24 00:44 UTC
One of my favorite things about The Onion buying InfoWars at auction and doing the exact same schtick but with a wink is that it happened at the exact right moment in American history. The right-wing populist ouroboros of the last 25 years gobbled up every conceivable lever of power through deception, coercion, procedural fuckery, and overt violence, and then they ran the country like a drunken child who stole a tank.
Now, these smug shitasses are looking at the world they have created, and they cannot possibly be happy. The tank has crashed into a ditch. Their spiritual leader is a hateful ancient incontinent steak salesman. Their foremost cultural representatives are Kid Rock and Rob Schneider. They are mad that cheese doesn't hate Muslims enough (source: https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/tillamook-boycott-halal-certification-label-cheese-1820591). They are full of anger and they cannot point it in any direction that doesn't rattle their fillings with cognitive dissonance.
Against this backdrop, The Onion is taking the exact same bullshit culture war fixations, repeating them with a wild surmise and the appropriate watermark, and achieving perfect, total mockery. It's barely more than a mirror, and it is lethally effective:
Replies (1)
-
Because there's nothing new under the (now bisexual) sun, we are living through a Machiavellian heuristic. Our mad prince has convinced himself that he is beloved, but he is tuning out his viziers and telling the peasants who can't afford bread to eat shit. He's no longer feared or loved: he is hated. And the hatred is spreading to his once-irreducible core of white supremacist reactionaries, misogynists, maliciously bored suburbanites, and dumbasses. That unshakable 33% is now 29% and falling. Soon, everyone will have always been against him. And, because the particular flavor of evil chud magic that makes a demagogue pop is rare and generational, we may even get a chance to strip out of our caked britches, hose off, and change before the next shitstorm arrives. Imagine how much worse this would be if he had a functioning brain and wasn't 80. Imagine how far this would have gotten with a competent opposition.
Open ##4826869