It’s been a few days since the last school shooting but I only just now let my self feel it, allowed myself to break down. Grateful in a weird way that I can commit to feel the pain of it now. After Columbine, when one of my own teachers was killed by a child with a big gun, I was numb for years. No, not years. It was a quarter of a century. I did anything I could (mostly intellectualizing) to avoid experiencing that feeling. Shoved it down in a place a part of me hoped it couldn’t be found.