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@naga@toot.cat
2026-05-04 17:44 UTC
Following up on my #GenderQuest threads (here https://toot.cat/@naga/116091924889943010 and here https://toot.cat/@naga/116223633843084229 )
Most recently, I shifted my identity label to demimale.
I've been looking at whether I might be less male / possibly more female than I'd been considering.
I do get some kind of euphoria from skirts in a couple specific styles, as well as just a general enjoyment of dressing femme. I also enjoy lip stain and nail polish, but I can't apply those myself (hand tremor).
So I've been brainstorming with Jalan's help what I can experiment with to see if it brings euphoria, with the caveat of being mostly bedbound and not having much spare money.
So I'm thinking of what I can try with low investment of money and physical energy. Before I test bigger-social-investment things like how I respond to pronouns other than he/him.
One is more clothing options. I'd like to try a dress--that would be new. Maybe another skirt or two in the style like I one I love.
Before that, though, I'll probably want to get some level of shaping. I can't wear anything that could interfere with movement, make me overheat, or impede using a plastic urinal.
I also need to allow for having a broad, hairy chest.
So I'm looking at the next purchase being some sponge breast forms and a full-coverage zip-front bra (a behind-the-back clasp is out of the question). I have a few blouses that look fine on a flat chest, but I want to see if having some curves under them feels good.
And I'd want to test that before picking a dress style or two to try, because whether I have chest curves under them might affect selection.
(1/?)
Replies (1)
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One other thing I've wondered about has to do with genitals and sexuality.
I don't like the looks of any genitals very much, but there's no dysphoria there.
I have a powerful kink for orgasm control, and I do not want to entangle these two things. My gender, whatever it turns out to be, isn't a kink and I want to keep that motivation out of it.
Enjoying touch isn't gendered, orgasm isn't particularly gendered, and to keep the kink out I don't want to entangle this with those.
What I'm looking at modifying in part is ejaculation -- as the "spray" is very much associated with a bio-dick.
So the idea is to go without the spray -- with Jalan's cooperation, wearing condoms every time there's a chance I'll have an orgasm. So I can still enjoy the touch, still enjoy the orgasm, but change the most male-coded expression of it.
This also lets Jalan control the sensual touch and my orgasms and chastity independently of the condom experiment.
I don't know that this will affect my experience of my gender, and I don't even really expect it to. But it's a thing I can try and it's easy and affordable.
Even though it's my idea, I am asking Jalan to use her D/s authority to not let me back off from it until and unless she judges it's been solidly tried and doesn't seem to alter anything for me.
(2/?)
#GenderQuest
Open ##5023688