Post by @statsguy@mas.to

2026-09-16 06:11 UTC

If the villagers of Piddington vote for independence, then if I were Burnham, I would respect their democratic wish and grant them independence immediately. That would of course mean revoking all their British passports. And since they are so dead set against undocumented migrants, we'd then have to build a big fuck-off wall around the village with a couple of border posts on it, and only let the villagers out if they are in position of a valid Piddington passport, compliant with the international standards of ICAO Document 9303. Oh, and of course they would need a visa as well. Can't have free movement now, can we? I suppose it might take a few months for visa applications to be approved, but do they want control of their borders or don't they? https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cw5ym35z15x7o #Piddington #UKPolitics

Replies (14)

@Nicovel0@mastodon.social 2026-09-16 06:17

@statsguy@mas.to “today is the Battle of Britain” I’m pretty sure none of the asylum seekers are Nazis bent on world domination, but ok

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@MiaMarkTwo@syzito.xyz 2026-09-16 07:11

@statsguy@mas.to Also they wouldn't be entitled to any state benefits, including the pension, so that'd have to be stopped immediately. Hope there's no social housing there. Oh, and while they're all waiting for leave to remain, none of them can work.

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@beecycling@wandering.shop 2026-09-16 07:17

@statsguy@mas.to What would they do exactly if some migrants (which would be anyone not from this village, but we know they mean "brown people") just decide to move in? One person could get turned away at their "border," but what about if 50 show up at once? 100? Has this village got its own police force? Or army? They do know that independent nations need those things to enforce their borders right? Might give them a lesson in how hard that actually is.

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@PeterGray@mastodon.green 2026-09-16 07:23

@statsguy@mas.to Maybe they'd apply to join the Schengen Area 😆😆😆😆😆

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@MiaMarkTwo@syzito.xyz 2026-09-16 07:27

@statsguy@mas.to I wonder whether their border would be subject to the same import and export rules as other European mainland territories. The SPS rules are going to make the weekly shop interesting.

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@MostlyTato@mstdn.social 2026-09-16 08:28

@statsguy@mas.to Detain them as soon as the crossed the border and deport them as immigrants. 😜

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@bloor@bloor.tw 2026-09-16 09:05

@statsguy@mas.to Piddington sounds like it might appear in The Meaning of Liff with a definition of "polite: penis".

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@Lazarou@mastodon.social 2026-09-16 09:19

@statsguy@mas.to oh no, the Union ia losing a racist village, how will it cope?

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@simonzerafa@infosec.exchange 2026-09-16 10:29

@statsguy@mas.to I'm not sure they can be placed into a situation where they are effectively stateless. They would need to form a government first, then be recognised by the UN. Once they are in a position to issue passports and grant citizenship then they can have their UK passports and citizenship revoked 🙂

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@robchapman@ohai.social 2026-09-16 11:03

@statsguy@mas.to I feel sorry for the people of Piddington, it must have been an awful discovery when they woke up one day and discovered they were all dead on the inside!

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@Psychonaut@mastodon.online 2026-09-16 12:20

@statsguy@mas.to you'd need to strip UK citizenship from all direct descendants as well, whether they still live in the village or not

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@spanghero@ioc.exchange 2026-09-16 13:41

@statsguy@mas.to It’s not about the safety of women and children at all is it. It’s about house prices, but discussing such a subject is considered gauche and/or taboo so it’s easier to other people.

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@fazalmajid@social.vivaldi.net 2026-09-16 14:01

@statsguy@mas.to so does that mean the balaclava-wearing blackshirts will mass at the egress roads for Piddington to stop the now-foreign wrong'uns there from leaving?

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@nowster@fedi.nowster.me.uk 2026-09-17 23:14

@statsguy@mas.to This is pretty much the end state of the film, Passport to Pimlico.

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