@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange
2026-09-26 18:01 UTC
If you have a vampire problem, I recommend becoming ordained by the Universal Life Church. Then you can make your own holy water and use any symbol you want as your holy symbol.
https://www.ulc.org/
Replies (2)
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@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange 2026-09-26 18:04
Use your sprinklers to consecrate your home and water your garden at the same time.
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@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange 2026-09-26 22:29
It'd be kinda embarrassing for everyone if the only holy relics that worked to fight vampires were ones from the Gnostics. "Oh fuck, the orthodox were all wrong! We're all going to have to upend our entire Christian religion if we want to survive this!" Or worse. Scientology. Or one very specific denomination. The only ones who can fight vampires are pastors of the Upper Cumberland Presbyterian Church. Somehow.