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Michael 🤨

thePurpleMonkey@mastodon.social

<p>Software Developer and addicted to caffeine. Criminally insane.</p><p>Here are some emojis that vaguely describe me, in no particular order: 🧑‍🎓🧑‍💻🛶🏕️🎄🎾🏹🎮🎹♉🏳️‍🌈</p><p>🇺🇸➡️🇲🇽<br />Moved from the U.S. to Mexico City in July 2026</p><p>Hablo inglés y estoy aprendiendo español. Si estás aquí porque te he seguido, es porque quiero aprender español de ti.</p>

Posts

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    For dramatic effect, instead of saying &amp;quot;I need to use the restroom&amp;quot; consider saying &amp;quot;I&amp;#39;M GOING TO PISS MY LIFE AWAY&amp;quot;

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    Me, 2021: &amp;quot;Ugh, I hate it when people say buh-bye. It&amp;#39;s so juvenile and cringe!&amp;quot; Me, 2026: &amp;quot;Alright, talk to you later, buh-bye!&amp;quot;

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    Not me switching phone providers and thinking that instantly makes me the most interesting person in the world

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    I just got some sort of sick pleasure in updating my LinkedIn profile for my upcoming job hunt. Somebody shoot me

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    I tried to use Fiverr to get a logo designed and while I&amp;#39;m happy with the result, it has to be one of the worst designed platforms I&amp;#39;ve ever used. The UI actively encouraged me to do the wrong thing at every step of the process. Thankfully the designer was really nice to work with so it all ended up okay, but I hope I never have to use that horrific website ever again

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    Join me as I learn in real time that no laptop docking stations apparently support Linux in any capacity, sometimes explicitly being incompatible. Am I the first person to have ever used a docking station for external monitors on Linux? It feels like 2005 again.

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    New villain origin story unlocked: storing your cache in your config directory

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    What does oomf mean? Because every time I see it it reads &amp;quot;out of memory friend&amp;quot; in my head

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    I just called a meme my mom sent me &amp;quot;millennial-coded&amp;quot; and her head actually exploded. I&amp;#39;ve just spent the last 20 minutes explaining the differences in types of humor between Gen Alpha, Gen Z, Millennials, Gen Y, Gen X, and Baby Boomers. I made a slideshow. She still doesn&amp;#39;t get it. She thinks I&amp;#39;m making fun of her. I regret not just sending a 😂 and letting it go

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    Jesus Christ, the amount of em-dashes I&amp;#39;ve seen in all the job postings I&amp;#39;ve come across is astonishing

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    &amp;quot;I made your bed, now die in it.&amp;quot; -- My husband, 2026