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  True lazy doesn’t happen until you retire. Then sloth becomes an art form. #Funny #Humor #Humour #Retirement

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  @jalefkowit If Vance is elected in 2028, I want a lobotomy.

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  @alessandro @LoganFive 70% is the lowest passing grade. On the plus side, they’re closer to passing than utter catastrophe. Every right answer is its own special triumph.

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  Love to anyone who is as sick as my cousin. #Holidays #Covid #Sick #Funny #Humor

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  I do not have too much time on my hands. #Humor #Funny #Democrats #Politics #Trump #MAGA

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  GENERAL STRIKE FRIDAY, JANUARY 23, 2026 MINNEAPOLIS DAY OF TRUTH AND FREEDOM I’ll be striking in Salt Lake City on Friday, January 23, 2026 On the day of the GENERAL STRIKE, I am a Minnesotan. #ICE #Trump #GeneralStrike #Minneapolis #Minnesota

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  I’m elderly. My primary care physician is a gerontologist. If she ever asked me to take a cognitive exam, I’d have a heart attack. If I were asked to take a cognitive exam three times, I would know that the doctor was monitoring the severity & rate of my mental decline. I’d notify my family immediately; I’d get my affairs in order. Then I’d invade Venezuela, threaten Greenland, Cuba, Columbia, Mexico, Iran, Canada, Panama, Nigeria, Syria & Nicaragua. I’d weaponize ICE, &...

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  It wasn’t me.

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  This can only mean one thing. Toast. #Funny #Humor

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  Is he single? #Funny #Humor

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  I’m writing my memoir. This is it. Yes, this ALL of it. #Humor #Funny #Humour