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  I assumed that my finger guns gesture would be interpreted as ironic but my European coworker’s reaction was a mix of confusion and concern.

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  This is a road I often bike along, through the snow, but this time was driving past. A tiny Robert Frost, the road not taken, moment for me.

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  @hannah Me to my dog, “I bet you’re gonna wanna go smell that trash can. Yup. Called it.”

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  Me, to the bowl of spicy noodles I just made for lunch, “You better fix my entire life.”

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  “What if following the Siren’s song was the right choice?” The story of the Sirens is revisited through the perspective of the maligned female antagonists in this imaginative retelling of Greek Mythology.

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  This is such a harsh read on Lowe, the last governor of St Helena during Napoleon’s exile: “Wellington was even harsher, calling Lowe ‘a very bad choice; he was a man wanting in education and judgment. He was a stupid man, he knew nothing at all of the world, and like all men who knew nothing of the world, he was suspicious and jealous.’” From Napoleon: A Life, by Andrew Roberts

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  I want a Macbeth where the witches are represented by teenage girls on e-scooters. I don’t care what the rest of the themes or visuals are, let’s just start from that point and work backwards.

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  The girls have written up a peace treaty on how the Sims in their co-run world will be treated if one sibling plays the game without the other siblings present.

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  Last night I cracked open a beer, popped a pill into my mouth, & washed it down with a chug. I’ve never felt more like a dirtbag cop who plays by his own rules even if the beer was non-alcoholic and the pill was a short term anti-inflammatory prescription.

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  Half of my coworker’s 1st language is Swedish, but on my floor there are also Arabic, Bosnian, Bulgarian, Kashmiri, Portuguese, Russian, Spanish, & Turkish speakers. I’m super excited to have learned how to say “Good morning” to them all in their 1st language.

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  11 yr old: I’m gonna play ABBA at the table if that’s okay. (This is integration.)

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  Karl Knutsson Bonde is the Grover Cleveland of Swedish Kings, serving two non-consecutives terms in the office.

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  I can’t believe I’ve been using this dude’s speech as my default placeholder text. From: @siege@octodon.social https://octodon.social/@siege/112012972910952651

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  @JizzelEtBass @taylorlorenz This is so unhinged. “Oh this person is defending trans people in a national newspaper, but not in the methods I approve of. Time to make hyperbolic pleas to violence against them.”

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  Sims 4 updates and now all of my kid’s characters are bald.

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  I got to vote for Barbara Lee twice in this election. “Barbara Lee speaks for me” ²

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  If one of the choices you got to make felt good and satisfying, it wouldn’t be called The Trolley Problem. What you seem to be looking for is The Trolley Opportunity. Unfortunately that line doesn’t have a stop at this station.

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  Ranking every single hedgehog I’ve seen in my life. 1. Alive, in a grassy field, in a garden. 2. Dead, taxidermied, in a natural history museum. 3. Dead, roadkill, in a bike lane.