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Calacene

Calacene@furry.engineer

<p>Call me Cala! I&#39;m a dogbit or huskabun living in Calgary, AB, Canada. I&#39;m a Mechanical Engineering Technologist specializing in Automation, and I do 3D modelling and automation of model creation and customization.</p>

Posts

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    Been doing a lot better the last few weeks. Met and spending time with someone who&amp;#39;s really cool. Picked up crochet again to rest my eyes more vs screen time, been 3d printing lots of pumpkins etc! And my pain has been so much better. It&amp;#39;s going really well and I&amp;#39;m feeling hopeful that it&amp;#39;ll keep!

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    Feeling a bit off today. But looking forward tomorrow, and to next weekend, so it&amp;#39;s ok. Just need to get through it and focus on getting there and maybe occupy my mind until then. Here&amp;#39;s a bunny I crocheted from a kit earlier this week.

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    @lucylop@wetdry.world yay!!!

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    Why are brains the way they are? What happened to them?

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    I feel. Like I don&amp;#39;t know anything. About myself. I don&amp;#39;t know how to feel about that. I don&amp;#39;t know how I feel.

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    Feeling better than yesterday I think. Still unsure, but more ok with that. A bit less disconnected I think. I have too much nervous energy though. I took tomorrow off, but I&amp;#39;m not sure what I&amp;#39;m going to do.

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    I finished another crochet pumpkin! This one is bigger than the rest, and I&amp;#39;m getting better at it!

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    Sometimes I feel like I&amp;#39;m too much for others. But I think that&amp;#39;s me feeling like too much for myself. I try to make myself small, and avoid any chance of imposing on others. I squeeze myself down and don&amp;#39;t fit anymore. I&amp;#39;m not too much for others, I need to be enough for me.

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    I&amp;#39;m doing good, for the first time in a while. For quite a while, I think even if I thought I was good, it was still just ok. Because I was just getting by, with living. I think I&amp;#39;m doing more than that right now. And on the path to keep doing so. It doesn&amp;#39;t feel real yet, I think. But I&amp;#39;m happy.

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    Haven&amp;#39;t posted in a while sorry. Mostly been on bluesky. @calacene.bsky.social Felt so pretty last night. Got new clothes on Sunday with gf. Wore them last night, &amp;amp; looked at myself &amp;amp; didn&amp;#39;t recognize myself. Called &amp;#39;he&amp;#39; like 30 times in meetings first thing today. Hurt more than before. Why is there so much hurt everywhere? Me &amp;amp; those I care about hurt. Why?