@mushroom_soup@poa.st >be me >on a date >desperately don't want to fuck it up >remember the sage advice of ntu!egwabe on das xitter-app >"lol zomg potato rawr i'm so randem xd" >waitresses half the room over begin to slip because the whole floor is wet >glance over >oh no, that was another one of ranjeesh's tips >the floor is now ankle deep in my date's... err... in water. >one of the waitresses falls >immediately rush over to help... >...thereby prioritizing my goals above hers >the cu^H^Hwater is knee deep now, but just as the fallen waitress begins to drown, i lift her up from the rising tide, back up to her feet >brimming with gratitude, she tries to offer me a gift... her scarf. >no... >i must refuse... >"i'm sorry, i--" >but before i can say anything, she helps me put it on >mfw i'm now dressed better than my date >the cafe floods and we all drown >call that scammed by the nigerian prince. RT: https://poa.st/objects/f41dd654-34d3-4117-a4de-0e630532a130