SCHOOL: Your son missed school today, and this isn't a doctor's note. ME: Yes it is. I'm a doctor. This is a note from me. SCHOOL: You're not a doctor. ME: Yes I am. I have a PhD. SCHOOL: A LICENSED doctor. ME: I have a license! (shows them my drivers license) SCHOOL: (sighs) Mr. Kaplan- ME: (correcting them) DOCTOR Kaplan. SCHOOL: (grimacing) DOCTOR Kaplan, you need a license to practice medicine. ME: Aha! That's not what the rules say. (shows them the rules on my phone) SCHOOL: (reads the rules) "a licensed doctor" (looks at me, slowly takes the note) ME: (dances out of the office)