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I wasn’t raised by nice people. I wasn’t raised to be nice or pleasant. I have had to figure this out on my own, and I have had to invent “nice” Chris on the fly. It’s an understatement to say this has been slow going.
But I’ve been reading a great big thick David Bowie biography and the thing that keeps coming up is how polite and caring and concerned he was for the people around him, and just how pleasant he was to be around, and how it really affected people.
I went out to play a gig tonight with that on my mind and really tried to step out of my comfort zone to show all these things more outwardly, because while I do genuinely feel that way towards people, I’m realizing how bad I am At really showing, bringing these things to the table amongst acquaintances & friends, and you know what? I think it went well and I learned a thing about how I can behave towards people I like and care about to help them understand that.
It was a good evening. We played well, which is always nice, but that was the least of it. And what’s more, I get to try again Sunday afternoon. The owner of our record label has asked us to play at his birthday party & I want to go be actually, actively nice to people in this new way.
/journal, thanks for listening.
Replies (2)
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@Devils_Rancher@beige.party thanks for sharing :)
I have friends who don’t get this. They need to know what they’re getting in return before they will give anything. They don’t understand (or believe) the power and the rewards of just being nice and kind to others first, and always.
It’s like easy mode. Yes, occasionally we get taken advantage of by arseholes. But the rewards are still greater. Folks will generally go out of their way to return any kindness tenfold
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@Devils_Rancher@beige.party I had a colleague once who told me the story of the "Perpetual fiver" - a fiver, in this context, being a hypothetical British five pound note.
The perpetual part is that for most people, they all owe somebody a fiver for having had something nice done for them.
I help you move house. You help a neighbour find their missing cat. That neighbour drives someone to hospital to see a dying relative. In turn, they look in on an old friend, etc etc etc.
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