Gather round kids it's story time. So I’m minding my own business, going through life, and it’s time to open a new bottle of medication. Suddenly, I can’t find it. Well, that’s a bummer, but okay. I can open my backup bottle and at least take today’s dose. But now I’m literally obsessed with finding the elusive missing bottle. I start looking in places it could never possibly be. Closets. Drawers. Cabinets. Rooms in which it had absolutely no business being. Prayers are said. Songs are sung. More prayers are said. Finally, something in the far reaches of my mind leads me back to where I started looking. And instead of being in the box where it was supposed to stay until it was needed... it was sitting right beside the box. Oh, happy day! Joy abounding! With a heart full of thankful praise, I skippity-doo down the stairs to the kitchen to put the found bottle where it belongs and return the newly opened backup bottle to its place in waiting. But then it happens. I pick up the bottle by its cap and... dun, dun, dun... Crash! Skitter! Scatter! Off go the tablets, racing in every direction across the kitchen floor. Note to self: You know how you check to make sure the doors are locked more than once? Apparently I now need to add "make sure the medication bottle cap is actually screwed on" to that routine. Now comes Operation Escapee Tablet. I gather up as many as I can find, temporarily storing them in the bottle cap that was still in my hand, then carry the depleted bottle to the kitchen table. Next comes a Dixie paper bowl for the remaining fugitives. Back to the floor. Back to the table. Count. Count again. Count one more time. Still a few are missing, so back down to the floor I go. You never truly appreciate how many mysterious crumbs live on your kitchen floor until you're sitting on it. And seriously... how do crumbs migrate all the way over by the kitchen doorway anyway? At last, I find the remaining escapees. Back to the table. Count again. Success! Every last tablet is present and accounted for. So the moral of the story? Prayer works. Never pick up a medication bottle by its lid. And for reasons known only to mathematicians, pharmacists, and perhaps the Almighty Himself, counting tablets two by two is infinitely easier than counting them one by one. I have no explanation for this. It simply is so.