Post by @cynder_coyote@pawb.fun

2026-07-29 08:01 UTC

It was this uncertainty that would cause us to crash into each other and then peel away multiple times. I was slightly embarrassed when an acquaintance described to me what I can only assume the outside perspective of our relationship looked like: “I can never tell if you two will be fucking or fighting” he stated. Ours is a large community but a small one at heart and everyone’s dirty laundry is hung out on the line to dry in the sun, mine included. This past spring, I was pretty sure we were through. I had finally had enough of the see-saw. He gave me one final push and I jumped off. When I went to his house to collect my things, the reality of everything hit. He hyperventilated so hard he passed out. I stayed with him for a short while, offered him some water, and left. Despite being assured by everyone around me that I was and had done the right thing, I felt like a monster. This was a man that I had loved, and to see him in distress, and to know that I was the cause, tore me to pieces.

Replies (1)

@cynder_coyote@pawb.fun 2026-07-29 08:02

We went our separate ways. Weeks passed. Spring gave way to summer. Then he did something I had never expected. He came back. However, he wasn’t the same person I had left. He told me something that nobody has ever told me in all my years, he told me that he wanted to fight for us, for me. In my life, I am accustomed to people walking, if not outright running, sideways like a crab at high tide away from me. Instead, he not only told me, but he showed me all the work he was doing for and on himself. He took accountability for all of his his prior actions which had resulted in hurt. He showed remorse, not just regret. Against my better judgment, and with the Greek chorus of my friends and family screaming at me not to, I accepted this new version of him tentatively back into my life. It was a provisional arrangement. A limited trial. I’ll admit I was skeptical. We are now staring down the ends of summer and he is still here, still working on bettering himself, the same as I am.

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