Is this okay if I enjoy making music, but I hate listening to what I've made? Idk, it just sounds too amateurisj, despite the fact that I'm making it for 8 years almost. And it's not "cutting the edge". And it kind of uses that style of electronic music that was around 30 years ago. That said, if I’d sent my music back to the ’90s, it would still have sucked just as much. I don’t know, I don’t really want to be popular, go viral, or make money. But I want my music to leave a lasting impression when you listen to it, I want it to… make an impact on the listener… And at the same time, I don’t want it to be a copy of someone else’s style. Just like how many old albums made an impression on me the first time I heard them, albums that are both something new and yet somehow blend with reality, leaving images in your mind in forms that didn't exist before these albums were released. I want to be able to express myself objectively through my music. For example, I want my album to be more than just a collection of tracks, I want it to be a memorable micro-adventure. Going to work, for instance, isn’t an adventure, because you’re so used to that route that you don’t even notice it. So, my music is too dull, too minimalistic, too childisр, it’s not capable of evoking anything like that right now. It can't contain my impressions. I’d be ashamed to send it even to a third-rate label. The structure of some of the tracks is literally brainrot: they last about a minute and a half, and I just couldn't get past that. Other than that, I don't have a style that's truly my own, and it's completely anti-unique. I’ve tried so hard and I just can’t seem to pull it off. And I still have no idea how I could do it. No one will tell me, because this is something I have to figure out on my own. But maybe part of the problem is that I don’t need to come up with a concept in my head beforehand, I just need to try to figure it out through practice. And that’s when I realized that I’m actually a lazy person when it comes to experimenting. I make a lot of music (about 2 hours a year, which is normal for the working class). But I often follow the same standard formula. I write a melody, tweak Serum, then add reverb, some basic drums, and that’s the whole demo. And I didn't surprise myself. But I’ll very rarely cut out microsounds from a 30-minute nature recording, run them through a granular synthesizer, or dig into some obscure, complex software... Because I feel like that would make me sound like someone else, even though in reality I should make a habit of copying other people’s techniques to broaden my scope for experimentation... This spring, I was finally able to learn how to mix properly, so now it should sound a little more professional, which is good. And instead of just sticking to my plan of making two hours of music, I need to do something different every time, something I haven’t done before... But honestly, there are so many directions I could go in that I literally don’t know what to choose, or how to get my music out of the rut I’m stuck in. Also, when I try to push myself beyond my limits, for some reason I start relying on other people’s opinions, and I find it hard to trust my own feelings, which makes everything even harder. How can I push myself to do better when I don't even like what I'm doing? So, I lose touch with my intuition. And it all makes me doing the same shit from year to year. But I'm already 22, and music hasn't changed much since I was 17... That's cringe #creativeprocess #artblock #experimentalmusic #electronicMusic #artist #advice