Tonight's Top of the Pops includes: * No, we're not going to play the number one till past your bedtime. * "Snow is falling, all around me." This, apparently, is the summer of love. * Line up your soldiers, she'll shoot them all down. * BBC4 could show an exercise class in lycra 'n' legwarmers, and people would still watch The Traitors. * Some of the audience have been given balloons. Others have been given roses. This will not end well. * Fresh new Luddie van Beetz, and a comfortable oldie from Statvs Qvo. Hosts are The Mighty Jamie Theakston, Julian Clary, Sir Simon Bates, and Diddy "David" Hamilton. That's on BBC4 and #TOTP from 7pm. Be there, or we'll Squeeze ya.