At breakfast at our Salt Lake City hotel, it’s barely 6am and have angered the morality people. I went to sit down after getting my scrambled egg goo and my butt kept dropping and dropping and finally I was seated in what felt like a toddler chair. I muttered, under my breath, “Jesus Christ, why is this chair so fucking low” and THREE ENTIRE FAMILIES stopped eating and swiveled their heads to look at the heathen. One dad was mad dogging me like I’d grabbed his wife’s boob or something.