Post by @thevhswizard@retro.pizza

2026-07-20 16:45 UTC

I need a #pronoun check-in on something and could use the help of the general #trans Mastodon community to check in on this. My daughter has a friend who - it feels like - likes to fight with EVERYONE and EVERYTHING over almost any topic. This friend also identifies (like me) as agender. This friend has had a number of... odd... pronoun choices over the years, including wanting to be refereed to as "it" (not in a kinky way) for a long period of time. The most recent pronoun fuckery is that this friend no longer wants to be refereed to as "they" - which is fine for "they" the singular personal pronoun, but is virtually impossible for "they" as the generic plural or non-specific version of "they", including things like "them" and "their".

Replies (4)

@alexadeswift@lgbtqia.space 2026-07-20 16:51

@thevhswizard@retro.pizza Pronoun choices are pronoun choices and not fuckery, whatever we may personally think. Let this friend explore, and provide a space that may not be available at home or elsewhere, including the space to be fucking annoying!

Open ##3964700
@thevhswizard@retro.pizza 2026-07-20 16:51

This has led to a lot of linguistic complications, and I am at the point where I really, really want to push back on this, because (given this person's history of choosing hard-to-parse pronouns) this last step feels less like valid gender expression and more like... linguistic contrarianism. What are your thoughts? Can an individual legitimately opt out of the generic "they"? #pronoun #pronouns #trans #transgender

Open ##5311820
@Alexis@beepboop.one 2026-07-20 16:51

@thevhswizard@retro.pizza I think that transcends normal, basic common decency-level pronoun preferences and reaches into, like, trying to control how you just... use language? If this friend ran this past me as something they were thinking about, I'd tell them not to overreach, not to use the framing of something reasonable to request something unreasonable.

Open ##5311824
@starlily@mastodon.social 2026-07-20 16:57

@thevhswizard@retro.pizza "You have made it too difficult to communicate with you and be your friend. Goodbye." Sure, everyone can do whatever they want. That includes you not interacting with people who have made it difficult to do so.

Open ##5311825