When someone else tells you what they are going through, its a summary. “They said this, they did that, then they said this” etc. so it’s easy to spot all the telltales and red flags, it’s obvious it’s abuse. When it happens to you it’s happening alongside everything in your life. Work, family obligations, cooking, life admin. No one is summarising your life for you to tell a concise story. Its “just life”, there’s no narrative. Plus many of us don’t show ourselves the kindness, patience, forgiveness or support we show others. “Its happening to me, not someone I care about, it isn’t as important” Its a fucked combination even before the actual abuse that primes us to downplay it.