I know when I was experiencing it most recently it was because the perpetrator was keeping me tired, at high emotions, and primarily focused on her wants and needs as well as because she was doing an excellent job of keeping me questioning myself. She was actually pretty bad at all this and only kept me stuck for like 2 months, and I was a really easy target at the time. But by keeping me questioning my feelings and needs and focused on soothing her emotions she was able to keep me from noticing “wait a minute this is really abusive and I didn’t agree to any of this without being worn down” Also vital for that incident and the household I grew up in, it can be easy for victims who’ve been victims before or grew up in unhealthy households to struggle to see emotional abuse when it happens to us.