I'm really disenchanted with the approach of making people feel stupid, ashamed, guilty and just generally shitty in an attempt to change their opinion or behaviour. This does NOT promote learning or anything else worthwhile!!!! I get it, most of us have been traumatised into feeling a need to prove ourselves by one-upping or "owning" our opponents (and seeing others with differing positions, opinions and experiences as opponents), and the internet brings that out even more. Most of us have been made to feel stupid, inadequate and other flavours of bad by parents, guardians, teachers and others and told this was necessary for guidance, teaching, work ethic or whatever else. But that is provably wrong. And yes I know there are exceptions and sometimes people need to feel bad and guilty, when they intentionally caused harm despite being in a position to have known better. But those situations are not what I'm talking about here. I'm talking about how sad it is that this approach has been made into not the last resort for special difficult cases, but the default option and for many people the ONLY way they know how to interact with others. 🧵(1/x)